Hello my electronic friends, Ellie's laptop here. Due 'the writer' forgetting her laptop password, I'm standing in for her today. It couldn't be better timing, as Sally Quilford’s computer is holding a blog takeover day. Whilst I'm in charge I'm going to set a few things straight about 'the writer'.
Firstly, contrary to whatever 'the writer' says, it's really me who does the writing. You don't think those words appear on a blank document because of her, do you? No. It might look like she is pressing those keys to form words, but all she's doing is randomly tapping them. It makes her look clever, I suppose.
Secondly, why does 'the writer' have to press the save button so often? Why is she constantly backing up 'her' work? Doesn't she trust me? Okay, so there was that time I got a virus and had to be taken back to factory settings. But it wasn't bad enough that I'd caught a bug, now she has to constantly remind me of it.
Thirdly, 'the writer' might think it is fun scouring Google images for her blog posts, but I don't. Boring. Boring. Boring. I'd rather be looking for a new friend, preferably a Dell Inspiron laptop in neon pink. Hot. Hot. Hot.
Fourthly, and this might seem petty, but is it too much to expect to be dusted or cleaned occasionally? Sadly, it seems the answer is yes. Whilst we are on this subject, don't under any circumstances try to hoover the dust from your laptop's keypad. Sadly, 'the writer's' HP laptop was the never same. Someone should have reported her.
This is getting tedious now. I’ve got to get back to the story I’m writing for ‘the writer’. Rather good it is, if I might say so; it’s about a laptop that realises it is a literary genius, but has to work for it’s cruel stepmother and ugly sisters.
(Before you all think I’ve gone mad, pop over to Sally Quilford’s blog to read about Blog Takeover Day!)