Wednesday, 11 August 2010

The Laptop Speaks

Hello my electronic friends, Ellie's laptop here. Due 'the writer' forgetting her laptop password, I'm standing in for her today. It couldn't be better timing, as Sally Quilford’s computer is holding a blog takeover day. Whilst I'm in charge I'm going to set a few things straight about 'the writer'.

Firstly, contrary to whatever 'the writer' says, it's really me who does the writing. You don't think those words appear on a blank document because of her, do you? No. It might look like she is pressing those keys to form words, but all she's doing is randomly tapping them. It makes her look clever, I suppose.

Secondly, why does 'the writer' have to press the save button so often? Why is she constantly backing up 'her' work? Doesn't she trust me? Okay, so there was that time I got a virus and had to be taken back to factory settings. But it wasn't bad enough that I'd caught a bug, now she has to constantly remind me of it.

Thirdly, 'the writer' might think it is fun scouring Google images for her blog posts, but I don't. Boring. Boring. Boring. I'd rather be looking for a new friend, preferably a Dell Inspiron laptop in neon pink. Hot. Hot. Hot.

Fourthly, and this might seem petty, but is it too much to expect to be dusted or cleaned occasionally? Sadly, it seems the answer is yes. Whilst we are on this subject, don't under any circumstances try to hoover the dust from your laptop's keypad. Sadly, 'the writer's' HP laptop was the never same. Someone should have reported her.

This is getting tedious now. I’ve got to get back to the story I’m writing for ‘the writer’. Rather good it is, if I might say so; it’s about a laptop that realises it is a literary genius, but has to work for it’s cruel stepmother and ugly sisters.

(Before you all think I’ve gone mad, pop over to Sally Quilford’s blog to read about Blog Takeover Day!)


  1. Hello Ellie's laptop! Let me introduce you to my long-suffering laptop (well, two months, which with Sally Quilford is long suffering).

    Brilliant, Ellie. I'll add this to my links list :-)

  2. I could never let my laptop take over. Too many secrets.

  3. Good morning to Ellie's laptop!!

    I think you should contact the Society for the Prevention of Dust Gathering and Kitty Hairs on Keyboards and Laptops! You may be entitled to a free duster or a hoover clean!

    Unfortunately Ellie seems to be of that writer's ilk: "behind every great author is a lonely laptop".


    Take care

  4. I love this, it's great. I'm glad I didn't let my laptop get control of my blog :-)

  5. lol, wonderful point of view :-)

  6. Quillers - thank you!

    Old Kitty - I'm back in control now, so there will be no reporting me to SPDGKHKL! LOL.

    NewToWritingGirl - I've always said my laptop has a mind of its own.

    Scott - thank you!

  7. Ellie, brave one for letting your laptop take over. Love the way you've done this!

  8. Hope you find your dream Dell! x

  9. Hi Ellie's laptop! Good to hear from you - thanks for doing such a great job. Keep it up!

  10. Ooh, a pink Dell, that sounds gorgeous.

    I'm now off to give my poor computer a bit of a dust. Far too many dust bunnies racing around I think.

  11. Surely the dust and the smudges add, um, character to antiques! (Quickly rushes off.)

  12. It's good to hear it from the laptop's pov - but don't worry about the dust - it's character building ;-)

  13. I love this! its so cute and thinking about it i hope my laptop never takes over my blog lol the things it knows...
    Also thank you for reminding me to buy computer cleaning supplies!

  14. A good thing they can't really talk or we'd all be in deep trouble! Well, I would!

  15. Too funny! I really enjoyed this...a very clever post.


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