Yesterday was my first day back at work after a ten-day holiday. If I thought things were stressful before I went on holiday, they seemed ten times worse when I got back. I can't say too much because I'm not allowed to discuss 'work' online. Think not enough staff and no overtime, and you get an idea of what it is like.
Mid-afternoon I went for a break and as I sat there sipping my coffee I had this thought: I've been here 18 years, am I really going be still here in 18 more?By the time I got home I felt thoroughly sorry for myself and then admonished myself with the perennial realisation that there are people far worse off than me. But of course that doesn't really help when I had such a great holiday, with all the time I wanted to write. I'm back to my own day-to-day reality and I don't like it.
When I awoke this morning I looked myself in the mirror and told myself the only person who can make a change is me and to stop feeling sorry for myself. But here is my dilemma: do I concentrate on writing short stories for the women’s magazine market, which is not really my preferred option, and hope I can start earning enough of an income to cut down on my work hours and start writing my novel? Or, do I take a risk and write the novel I've always wanted to write and hope that it might one day be published?
When I've spoken to friends and family about this, they've all said, "But why can't you do both?” Realistically, I know I don't have time for both; I want writing to be enjoyable, not a constant struggle. And writing a novel is enough hard work, I think.
Now add to my dilemma that I have been thinking of taking a career break. I’ve got enough shares saved that could cover a six-month loss in salary. But there is a big problem with that option – when I return I wouldn’t be guaranteed the same job or even the same amount of hours. Given those circumstances, in't it too big a risk?
What would you do? Are you facing the same kinds of dilemmas? I'd love you know your thoughts.