Sunday, 9 January 2011

Now Showing Blogfest

My friend and fellow writer Madeleine is hosting the Now Showing Blogfest, where your challenge is to convert one or more telling phrases into a SHOWING passage with more detail and impact.

I really enjoyed this challenge, though I do feel like I've just completed a piece of homework and I'm now awaiting my grade! Here are the four I chose:

1. S/he cried.

Her knees gave way and she crumpled to the floor, gasping for breath. A single word escaped between each sob. "Why?"

2. S/he felt sick.

He stared at the scene before him - a scattering of blood-red theatre paint covering the bodies of his wife and daughter - and a surge of bile forced itself towards his throat.

3. S/he was cold.

Nothing could penetrate his frozen skin, not even the foil blanket the paramedics placed around him, and he shuddered in the early morning air.

4. S/he was angry.

She looked into the eyes of her one-time husband and father of her three children and began beating her fists against his lifeless body. "How could you?" she screamed.

So how did I do? Visit Madeleine's blog to view other entrants and to sign up.


  1. Yay!!!! What fabulous and vivid and emotive and utterly yummy expansions of bland phrases!!! Well done you! Take care

  2. These were fantastic and #4 wrenched my heart!!!

  3. Wow I loved them all. My favourite was the first, it put a lump in my throat. I found the words 'theatre paint' detracted from the horror of the second one, though I loved the rest of that sentence. You definitely get an 'A' Ellie. :O)

  4. These are all so powerful, I particularly like the first one, it's all encompassing.

  5. Those are all wonderful! I'd say you did a fabulous job with them. I liked your take on the "sick" one - my head went straight to the flu... And I loved that you put a little mystery in each one - I wanted to know more!

  6. Number 3 sounds so cold.

    Great sentences!

  7. Well done - those are terrific! #4 is really vivid.

  8. These are excellent Ellie - can I take notes?!

    I only did one - was I supposed to do four? :O

    Thanks for signing up to my No Fear Blogfest


  9. Great sentences! Sounds like a fun blogfest.

  10. Old Kitty - bless you. Thank you!

    The Words Crafter - thank you!

    Madeleine - aah . . .I got an A. Thank you! Yes. I think you are spot-on with the theatre paint comment - now that I read it back, it doesn't make a lot of sense in the context of the sentence.

    Margo - thank you!

    Donea Lee - thank you! After reading your comment about the sick one, I realised I did it wrong. I based mine on S/he was cold, but it should have been S/he had a cold. Oh, well. Glad you liked them, though.

    Chantal - thank you!

  11. Alex J. Cavanaugh - thank you!

    The Golden Eagle - thank you!

    Jemi Fraser - thank you! Glad you like them.

    Dominic de Mattos - thank you! When I first started writing, the phrase 'show, not tell' terrified me. Still does, actually. LOL. You didn't have to do more than one for the blogfest - Madeleine said one or more.

    Can't wait for your blogfest!

    alexia - thank you! You should have a go.

  12. I absolutely loved your examples. They were inspiring. Well done!

  13. Very descriptive. Thanks for sharing.


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