Thursday, 14 April 2011

Literary Love Letter (A to Z = L)

Dear Agent,

I love you.

You are the only one who believes in my novel, which you eloquently described as a Bridget Jones meets Mr. Darcy in space and then eats him. No-one else, not even my critique partner and beta-readers, warmed to it. Why couldn't they understand that had Jane Austen been alive today, Mr. Darcy would have ended up as nothing more than a tasty main course? One of them described it as 'the most offensive thing she'd ever read.' But you got it, dear agent, and that is why I love you.

Whilst I am emailing, I wanted to let you know my idea for the cover. I know Does Mr. Darcy Taste Better In Space? is more horror than Chick-lit, but I think we need to promote the Bridget Jones angle and make the cover as girl friendly as possible. We could have glitter encrusted stars and a pink spaceship. Let me know what you think.

Well, that is it for the moment. Please, please reply to this email, and include your postal address if possible. And your full name. I know it's only a minor thing but I need to know who's representing me.

Love you always,

I. N. Sane
* * *

Don't forget to enter part two of my 300 Followers Competition.

27 comments:

  1. LOL! That's rather surreal letter :O)

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  2. Next stop, appearance on Oprah. I think cannibal romance could be the next big genre.
    regards
    mood
    Moody Writing

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  3. A wonderful letter, wish I'd had thought of something like that.

    Yvonne.

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  4. You didn't, or did you? Never really do know with you. Fact or fiction...ha ha, that is the question.

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  5. Hey!! You've hacked into my personal files!!!!
    :-) Take care
    x

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  6. Holy...um, gee thankx for the peek into your world.
    btw, still laughing.

    *note to self: From now on, put coffee cup down before reading Ellie's post*

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  7. Coffee and posts like this don't mix

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  8. LOL- could you imagine what they would do if they received this letter...LOL

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  9. I want that book! Get rid of the agent if they don't understand the truth behind this query... too locked into mundanity... you rock. If this isn't a true letter -- MAKE IT HAPPEN!


    Hello, fellow A-Z Challenger! Here's my latest entry. Come visit either of my blogs when you can and leave some comment love:

    L is for Lollapalooza - http://bit.ly/fvjmy5

    http://www.mainstreamsolarcooking.com
    http://www.rockinchairreflections.com
    Twitter: @SolarChief

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  10. I would buy that book. Tell me when it's in store : )

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  11. Hahaha! Can I have the name of your agent, too? :)

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  12. I love your letter, lol! Darcy tastes better in space ;-D

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  13. hahah! Awesome. I think you should send it! lolol

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  14. That is one great letter. I have taken notes.

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  15. Yes, you know, that is actually quite an appealing pitch!

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  16. I'm sure that will get you an agent. But the point you make is so true and important to understand. How often do we ignore those who are trying to help us and send stuff off anyways.

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  17. I think if you sent that to an agent, along with your "serious" query, he/she would definitely remember you! An amazing piece of humorous irony. I love it.
    Ann Carbine Best’s Long Journey Home

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  18. LOL Ellie Garratt at her best! This is terrific. I'd buy it just from that letter alone.

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  19. LOL! I'd love to read the response!

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  20. You deserve the Versatile Blogger Award! come and get it =)

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  21. Still laughing! Are you brave enough to maybe send it along with a formal one? :-)

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  22. Your title to this post is only a few characters off from my own for L... pretty crazy. Just like your mind (and that's a good thing.)

    I've never read the Bridget Jones or Mr. Darcy tales, but I'd certainly read your version. Very nice!

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