Having to take it easy over the last few days gave me time to think about my summer writing goals. Number two on my list was writing a back cover blurb for the first book in my Cosmic Seed Trilogy. So, with the aid of pen and paper, here is the back cover blurb for Book One, Daughters Of Velika:
Velika. Once home to a million. Now just a few thousand Velikians remain; the seed of life nearing depletion. They await the birth of an heir to the planet as foretold by the Prophets and preached by the Keepers of Velika – a son born during the time of the Darkening who will re-seed all men.
But the Keepers lie. A daughter was born to the House of Velika, threatening to expose the preachings of the Prophets as false. So her birth was kept secret, and the Keepers ordered to find another way to replenish the life-giving seed.
Only one Keeper can make it happen. Only one Keeper can stand in their way. She is Kaylan, last child of Velika.
So, there it is. As always, I'd love to know what you think.
26 Shining Stars:
I found the last line confusing. Makes it sound like there are two people, one who can replenish the seed and one who can stop it (for some reason). Also, 'can stand in their way' is not clear who 'their' refers to. The other Keepers? It's not clear who is against whom and why at this point (for me).
mood
It seemed to pretty clear to me. It's the girl who stops the false prophecy of the first and the prophets.
Practice makes better. Right?
It look perfectly fine to me though I am no expert, When doing a back cover for my poetry book I was extremely lucky my favourite singer Daniel wrote a piece at the bottom I felt honoured and delighted.
Have a peaceful Sunday,
Yvonne.
I like the idea! Yeah, I was confused by the last line as well, but after re-reading, I get it now.
Oooh The Keepers lie! I like that!! Bad Keepers!
I think I found the word Velika (or variations of it) repeated much too much but maybe it's me sweltering in the heat and just wanting to throw myself in a tub of ice. Ahem.
Apart from that it's such an intriguing blurb - well done you!!! I also hope you are getting better - keep resting! Take care
x
Hi Ellie .. gosh I don't know how you write such planetary stuff! No wonder Brian Cox is to the fore ... but I too was a little confused - and I'm sure you'll clarify it ..
I hope this heatwave isn't going to throw you off getting better .. and hope things are improving for you .. all teh best Hilary
So is Kaylan one of the lying Keepers? And the daughter that was born instead of a son?
Love the storyline!
I agree with Mooderino but once you said "She is Kaylan" I got it. I feel like I know what the story is about but there's to be an element of either mystery or intrigue missing. It's well done but right now doesn't make me want to pick up the book, though the actual cover does draw me in.
Very nice; you've got my attention! The only line that stood out of place was "make it happen" -- seems a little off-tone against the awesomeness preceding it.
For an initial promo, that's pretty good. You've got plenty of time to polish it off while the book is in production. So long as people are talking about it!
I agree with Old Kitty and would get rid of at least the Velikians in the first par. "Once home to millions, now just a few thousand remain." You don't need it.
Otherwise I think it's obvious it's about one person.
I like it! The last line made sense to me. I love the theme and setting; the wronged female Keeper already seems like an appealing character.
Somehow 'reseeding' made me laugh though I think I know what you mean. Obviously, I've spent too much time in the garden;-)
I am intrigued.I'm wondering where the twist will be...
BTW You have an award over at mine :O)
Wow, sign me up to read that! It sounds great!
Really like the blurb, and it makes perfect sense... I want to know how Kaylan will save her people. Nice.
Great Job! It sounds like a great read and a good hook.
I like it! Certainly makes me want to pick up the book :)
Intriguing. And cool cover.
The line with the reseeding of all men and darkening confused me a little, but I seem to be in the minority. Maybe I need more coffee?
Wow! That sounds awesomely perfect! Way to go accomplishing those goals!
LOVE the cover! And i'd read that
I didn't find the last line confusing, once I read the sentence about Kaylan. And I, too, like the "But the Keepers lie" part of it--it pops out at you.
It held my interest enough to definitely want to know more and read the book. At first, I thought there might be too many 'velikas,' but then realized they were needed because you were introduced several different groups of Velikians. Come visit when you can.
This is very compelling. I want to read the book to find out what will stand in her way and how she'll overcome it. You've set the scene for the story and given us a hint of some of they main players. Nice Blurb.
Hi Michelle. I would recommend a different approach, based on what agent Kristin Nelson says at http://www.nelsonagency.com/faq.html#6
In one sentence (or at most two), give a high-concept summary of the story. In this case, start by telling us who Kaylan is, and what it means to re-seed all men. Then take a paragraph or two to describe the first major plot twist (usually within the first 30-50 pages of the story), and any character development and relationships. That's it. Then let the money roll in. (I left out a few steps before that last sentence.)
I think you can tighten this a bit more. It feels a little repetitive. Also the last line is confusing. Is Kaylan the child that was hidden? If so, how is she also a Keeper?
Intriguing though. I'm looking forward to reading this.
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