Monday, 19 March 2012

Dear Agent . . .

I thought I'd go for something a little light-hearted today. Have fun.


Dear Agent,

Thank you for reading my manuscript, which you eloquently described as __________________________. No-one else, not even my critique partner and beta-readers, warmed to it. Why couldn't they understand ____________________________? One of them described it as '__________________________'! But you got it, dear agent, and that is why __________________.

Whilst I am emailing, I wanted to let you know my idea for the cover. I think it should have ______________________ and ___________________, and possibly ___________________. Let me know what you think.

Well, that is it for the moment. Please, please reply to this email, and include __________________ if possible.

Love as always,
____________


Just fill in the blanks.

16 comments:

  1. Dear Agent,

    Thank you for reading my manuscript, which you eloquently described as a doer-upper. No-one else, not even my critique partner and beta-readers, warmed to it. Why couldn't they understand the reader writes their own ending? One of them described it as 'The laziest piece of writing, ever'! But you got it, dear agent, and that is why I know you'll want to represent me.

    Whilst I am emailing, I wanted to let you know my idea for the cover. I think it should have lots of dots for readers to draw the lines and an eraser in case they make a mistake, and possibly tippex. Let me know what you think.

    Well, that is it for the moment. Please, please reply to this email, and include your home telephone number if possible.

    Love as always,
    I.N. Sane

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  2. It made me smile and want to send it if just for the hell of it.

    Hope all is going well with your writing.

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  3. Dear Agent,

    Thank you for reading my manuscript, which you eloquently described as WTF?!!?. No-one else, not even my critique partner and beta-readers, warmed to it. Why couldn't they understand a book with blank pages is so NOW? One of them described it as 'WTF'! But you got it, dear agent, and that is why I want to marry you.

    Whilst I am emailing, I wanted to let you know my idea for the cover. I think it should have actual paper towels and free soap, and possibly a manual on how to build toilets. Let me know what you think.

    Well, that is it for the moment. Please, please reply to this email, and include your wedding ring for me if possible.

    Love as always,
    I.P. Freely.

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  4. Oh, my. That's hilarious, Ellie. I just got my first PERSONALIZED rejections. That's progress.

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  5. I'm going to save this for the future :)


    Dear Agent,

    Thank you for reading my manuscript, which you eloquently described as enlightening and brilliant. No-one else, not even my critique partner and beta-readers, warmed to it. Why couldn't they understand my sense of creativity and mythology? One of them described it as 'lame'! But you got it, dear agent, and that is why I want you to support my novel.

    Whilst I am emailing, I wanted to let you know my idea for the cover. I think it should have Ryan and Saran on the cover facing back to back, and possibly ancient ruins in the background or a civilization that fits greek and egyptian mythology into one. Let me know what you think.

    Well, that is it for the moment. Please, please reply to this email, and include your home or cell phone number so we can talk about this in more depth.

    Warmest Regards,
    Yadin

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  6. Ellie: This was TFF!

    Old Kitty: You fill-ins were totally TFF.

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  7. It reminds me of the unnecessary censorship that Jimmy Kimmel does. I can only watch a few moments of it on YouTube before I think it's really wrong.

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  8. that was fun :) I love the picture.

    ......dhole

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  9. OMG, TOO funny Ellie and Old Kitty and Yadin!! ROTFL

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  10. Okay, so I'm so busy grabbing my side from laughing at the other comments that I just don't even know what to say at this point.

    Ref: I.P. Freely

    That's just priceless!!!

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  11. Hi Ellie - you caught us all on the hop - agents begorrah. I loved everyone's ideas ... especially Old Kitty's .. not sure what Charlie would think .. probably go outside and sun himself.

    Hope all is well .. and you're feeling more spring like .. cheers Hilary

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  12. Lots of fun reading the post and comments!

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  13. LOL! Oh dear.
    I agree with Alex. Include cash, lots if possible. ;O)

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  14. Ha! lolol...wiping tears, here! Great post :-) We writers need a good chuckle every now and again. A break from the intensity of the pursuit...

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