However, since late 2014, I've been in a funk. Generally ill at ease. Feeling blue. Anxious. And, if I'm honest, a bit depressed. I've found doing even the things I really enjoy a struggle. I haven't felt like writing or blogging. About the only thing I have done is to read.
Yesterday I decided I needed to give myself a virtual kick up the backside to break the funk.
I could probably write an essay on the subject of why I've been so down, but that would be self-indulgent to the extreme. In brief, I've been struggling with my head and migraines since the summer of last year, and it's not getting any easier. I'm single, living on my own, and I do find that a struggle at times, especially when I'm not feeling well. There is nothing more depressing than being ill and on your own for a few days. And it's stressful running a house on one wage; knowing that you're the only one who can pay the bills and buy the groceries. I could go on.
I guess, like most people, I viewed 2015 as a fresh start. A new year that would be different and full of possibilities. Of course the truth is that January 1st is just the day after December 31st. Nothing magical happens other than celebrating with our families and loved-ones. My head wasn't going to miraculously cure itself. My knight in shining armour was not going to rescue me. So, I wallowed in self-pity instead.
If you know me well, you will already know this is out of character for me. While I may be a pro at procrastination, and often make life more complicated than it needs to be, I don't do negativity or self-pity. But I'm not going to berate myself for slipping up. I'm simply going to allow myself to feel better. To read as much as I want. To write when my head allows it, and not force it when it does not. Maybe I'll be slower at doing things than other writers, but that's okay. The only person I have to prove myself to is me. And being on my own? Well, that's just temporary. I hope.
What about you? How has 2015 been for you so far? Do you have any tips or advice for someone who is experiencing a funk?